and then i suddenly felt really calm
i was drowning

his letter started as i transcribe:
dead radioweb catch the light. why don't you join your soul in heaven mother
thorns fingerdeep in the gardenpath adjectives prohibited
(inches
remembrance
your dear son's murdered)

typewritten over my picture
you are sucking icy rainbows
to be one you must first be two

to stop and watch as in a screen
screened me i returned
because there's time accidentally
all the bushes look lush this evening

cover
your
eyeballs

(yours truly, sullied bird)
sit and watch
sit and watch me go
repeat after me:

the redness is an understatement
the readyness is all.

the past is called the past 'cause that's what makes it so
dreaming trains in the underground confess to me

thus his letter went on: i'm sure you do,
i know you are,
i'm out of things to tell unless i unfold
last week's horrible tediousness as you do
expect i miss you but i think i died and so did you.


and then i suddenly felt really calm
i was drowning